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How I was tricked into watching The Island

posted in Movies and TV on August 13, 2005

I think it takes two really bad recommendations to make me completely distrust a person's taste in movies. Erik Henrikson of The Mercury has joined the ranks of People Who's Suggested Movies I Seriously Question.


I haven't sat through such a piece of shit movie in a long time. And never before have I seen such a large budget and pool of good actors put to such a waste. Also I think an award for the most recycled themes in a movie is in order. The Island plays like a 2 hour commercial with a slew of obvious product placements and quick cuts, with a generically anthemic score (helicopters? cue bad guitar.. sci-fi? cue techno-muzac.. chase? techno-spastic..), and a godfearingly boring futuristic world where everyone looks like a Maxim model.

The Island suuuuuckedThe only reason I found myself watching a matinee of this miserable waste of plastic was a flattering review by Erik Henriksen. This movie was so painful to watch, I found myself yelling at the screen, which I haven't done since I suffered through Planet of the Apes, which at least I had a large quantity of snuck-in alcohol to help me survive through.

I always wonder how actors I enjoy end up in these sort of movies. It just has to be a brainless good time with fantastic cast parties followed by a gigantic check. Why else would you associate yourself with a Michael Bay movie? I mean, Steve Buscemi? I know he takes roles to pay the rent. I recently watched the special features of Living in Oblivion (a movie with a thousand times the heart and about a thousandth of the budget), and he said as much in an interview.

Anyway, what else to say? It's awful. Minority Report, Brave New World, Logan's Run, and countless other sci-fi movies and books smooshed into one big Michael Bay bowel movement. Please don't go see it.

3 comments on this entry

Yeah Nate I agree. That movie totally sucked. I went to it opening weekend because I'm obsessed with Scarlett Johanson, but it was SO BAD.

The worst part for me (besides the REALLY OFFENSIVE parts towards women and HOLOCAUST SURVIVERS) was that before every single chase scene--of which there are about TEN in this movie--one of the two leads would yell, "RUN!" and then one of the bad guys would yell "DO NOT LET THEM GET AWAY!" over and over and over. Enough already! Gawd!

Alec 8/15/05

Add to that the fact that the big bad black antagonist dude who yelled "DO NOT LET THEM GET AWAY!" over and over while blowing up LA of THE FUTURE and repeatedly trying to kill the two clone-kiddies -- for some inexplicable reason switched sides at the end and helped them out. Huh?

nate 8/15/05

I stand by my review. I STAND BY IT, GODDAMMIT!

Erik 8/25/05

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